so i've been b-bopping around this morning doing a little of this and a little of that and realized i hadn't even started on my blog-shame on me!  been a long week and its just thursday...i am pretty sure i said on monday it would be a busy week and it was no lie.  looking for a break and some down time. 

kman has been giving us a run for our money this past week or so...he's at such an in between age (isn't every age this way?  so it seems) and wants to do so many things for himself and doesn't want help on certain things on certain days-but other days he wants to make sure we still know he's still a little guy and wants to be babied.  its so hard for us to figure out if he's coming or going.  one day something works and another day its garbage.  he's of course somewhat exhausted this week given his rigourous t-ball schedule and i will be the first to admit that i probably haven't been the best parent...there i said it.  i feel like a big honkin failure sometimes and no matter what i do it doesn't seem to be good enough or work for that matter. 

four is hard-he is certainly growing a mind of his own and i really need to figure out how to get in there and quit battling him on everything.  i know not everyday is going to be roses...but i don't want to feel like i am constantly yelling or saying "no" or repeating myself all day long.  i know a lot of this has to do with attention...he's been battling for attention for a year now and he's done well...but until recently there hasn't been a whole ton of discipline where his brother has been involved (now that he's mobile and into EVERYTHING) that of course is changing. ("No Doodle...you can't put your toy in the trashcan, No Doodle don't stick your finger in the electrical outlet!"  You know the normal things parents say to a 13 mos old :))   my only sticking point here is at i really do try and give him lots of attention or atleast i feel like i do and we always try and do fun things or take him to his favorite restuarant...so he'll know that he counts just as much as anyone. 

last night i took kman to skyline because that is his favorite place and it was just me and him and i thought for sure he'd be excited and happy and it would help break up the week of craziness-but it didn't seem to help at all and he really wasn't even all that interested in eating his food.  frustration sets in on my part...because i think i am doing something awesome and him and i can chat and have fun and he wants no part of it.  he's defiant and not interested in eating (did i mention this is his favorite place?) UGH....lost and unsure.